Psalm 23 [and then some]: The Legit Shepherd.

You know that thing that happens when you read a verse or passage for the however-many-nth-time and you STILL go, "Whoa!" Well, I had one of those moments again. I love them because it shows that God is God of great depth, and the revelation of His word does deep work in our souls.

I was going through a chapter in a book I'm reading called The Good and Beautiful God--specically a chapter on God's generosity. The soul training exercise for that chapter was to meditate on Psalm 23 throughout the course of the week. As I started, I would just recite it as is. A few days went by, and then my meditations on the chapter became a bit fuller--a bit weightier.

Here's what a I got a few days in--my extra somethin' somethin's are in the [ ]'s.

The Lord is my SHEPHERD, I shall not want [because He gives me everything I need];
He makes me lie down in green pastures [because he wants me to REST]
& leads me beside still waters [because He wants me to know His PEACE].
He restores my soul [because only He can do that work in me].
He leads me in the right paths for His name's sake [and because He's a righteous God and cares about my character and my heart].
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no evil for You [PERFECT LOVE] are with me;
Your rod and your staff comfort me [because I know that you discipline and guide me out of LOVE]/
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies [because You are greater than them and you fight my battles].
You anoint my head with oil [because you KNOW who I am and know my worth].
My cup overflows [because you are a GENEROUS God].
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life [because you watch over me and are after my good],
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever [because You desire a relationship of MUTUAL delight with me].

The whole passage is powerful, but this time around--the line that hit me the hardest was, "I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever [because You desire a relationship of MUTUAL delight with me"].
He, the God of the universe, delights in me and is utterly delighted when I delight in Him. If that isn't an overwhelming, hard-to-wrap-your-head-around thought, I'm not sure what is. Amazing, I tell you. His love his amazing. The deeper realization that I know a good and beautiful God is a reminder that I'm forever in a good and beautiful relationship. Talk about generous, right?

P.s. If you have some time, I really recommend the book I'm going through. The main premise of the book is to have us replace the false narratives we live by with Jesus' narratives--replacing our wrong-thinking with freeing truth. The book's even greater if you have some friends you can read through it with.

Hodge Podge Friday: I love the mailman.

Ok, Ok, maybe the mailwoman and the occasional FedEx person. I don't know if our postal worker is male or female, but I do know that I love him/her.

1. Goodies that have come in the mail in the last week and a half:

My wedding shoes :D

Three cardio, interval workouts in a box:

Inspiring snail mail:

Engagement Pictures Set 1:

Engagement Pictures Set 2:

2. A lasting utterance from this past week:

"Being disoriented is good; it causes you to stop and be still--to really sit in the presence of the Father."

- Professor Liang

3. My current state with everything that's going on:

Disoriented. Well, at least know I know it's a good thing ;). 

4. Here is one of the pictures that I took of one of my best friends, Becca, this past week:

You can see the rest here: Life With [ED]

Have a great weekend! A few more final projects, a lot more moving, and i'll be more sane by my next entry--hopefully :). 

A Series of Sweet Surprises

Summary:

Spring break.

Sweet friends.

Sleepovers.

Starling Diner.

Summery-weather in the springtime.

Sand between my toes.

Sassy, silly little girls.

A series of sweet surprises, indeed. I'm on my final spring break as a student for a while. Although I still have work, i'm doing what I can to make it feel as "spring breaky" as possible. Long Beach is a great place to be for such an occasion.


[An aside: This is my sixth year in Long Beach, and it's a place that has earned a sweet, sweet spot in my heart. I love the character, I love the people, I love the memories that I've made here. Some things have come to an end, and many things have been birthed here. Today was just a reminder of all of those things.Cheers to you, Long Beach. Thank you for being a momentous memory bank for me.]


In the midst of running around, laughing, watching kids lose themselves in their land of play and swim in mud-like sand, I found myself so, so thankful for the sweet life that I'm getting to take a part of right now. 


Here are some pictures of my friend Katy's kiddos. Friends clad in bathing suits and spending time together during the springtime made for a great environment in which to snap some shots of these sweet girls (who are growing up way too fast!). They are such reminders of what it means to be beautiful and free: 

 [The picture below CRACKS me up--I just hear thumpin' runway music playing whenever I look at Soph struttin' her stuff!]

A no-complaints Wednesday. I hope yours was just as great :).

Good Things Come in Small Packages.

Things that are small/petite: coffee cups, Cuban pastries,and sweet Jenny.:)

Coffee and chats with friends never gets old. It will always be high up on my list of favorites. Coffee with Jenny was no exception.

I had the opportunity to go to Uganda with this lovely young lady two Decembers ago, and I've loved getting to spend time with her here and there ever since. We were long overdue for a catch up sesh, so on  this lovely occasion, Jenny graced me with not just her presence but also some lovely Cuban pastries as well as a few stories to share.

She's vibrant, loving, talented, compassionate, intelligent, and is a beautiful vessel for His love. It was such a joy being in a conversation with someone who is very much in progress (and excited to be in progress). I pray that you continue to discover greater levels of freedom and love in the life He's set before you. The nursing world is lucky that they're going to have a woman like you, Jenny.

The Duality: Joy and Grief

I was sitting in a classroom observation today when the incessant vibrations of my phone continued to buzz against my lap. At first, I tried to ignore it, but then I figured it would be best for me to pick up (thankfully, the class my friend was teaching was on it's break).

All I could hear was my mom gasping for breath in the middle of sobbing as she tried to tell me that my grandpa had died. I had just talked to my mom probably a half an hour just to catch up, so getting this phone call with her in the described condition caught me a bit off guard. Though we've been expecting this for a while, there's nothing that can really prepare you for the loss of such an amazing person. My mom was impacted doubly seeing as how she and my dad were going to visit my grandpa tomorrow. 

When I first got the news, I had no option but to keep it together. I was with students and a colleague. Having gone into automatic mode, I was able to stay that way until probably an hour after class was over. As I was driving home, I broke down into tears for the first time. I have no doubt that these little bouts will continue to come as the truth of it really settles in.

Unable to focus on my work, I sat and prayed for a while. Part of my spirit is so excited to know that my grandpa is home with his Maker. He's is finally home! I can only imagine the celebration that happened in the heavens today as he was ushered into the presence of our God. The other part of my spirit is experiencing a certain level of grief, and then the Lord gave me this:

"The humanity that I know so well is that which causes Me to grieve as you grieve in loss, but My glory is also the glory that rejoices as one leaves the earthly and is ushered into the heavenly."

Yes, there is celebrating today, but the truth of it is, I can also find solace in the fact that Jesus understands my grief. He too experienced the duality of the situation, and I find great peace in that as I'm reminded how much He understands everything that we go through. This aspect of who God is reflects the depth of His love for us. 

Praise you, Father. Our lives are best lived in Your hands. 

 

 

Irrevocable: No Take-backs.

True love (and by this, I mean agape love) is unmerited. We do nothing to deserve it. It is beautifully bestowed upon us for no other reason than for the truth that we have been chosen. Agape love is a sacrificial love that demonstrates one's volition to pursue someone, accept someone, and serve someone even though there is nothing that is inherently worthy about the one who is being loved.

Though a beautiful and weighty truth, this is one of the hardest things for human beings to accept. How on earth is love freely given? We live so often by the concepts of earning, buying or having to work really hard for something before we can attain it. Simply put: This is yet another backdrop for the subversiveness of Jesus Christ: His love is just that--unconditional.

My flesh desires to strive, to earn and to make myself good enough to deserve something. The reality is that there is absolutely nothing I can do in the sight of Christ to make me more lovable, more acceptable, more whole, or more ready for His love. It is without condition. Truly, there are no strings attached. This is insanely counter to what we know as humans.

More often than not, our flesh experiences conditional love. We're loved until we do something wrong or don't meet expectations that others have put up for us. The idea that we can be loved less by someone because of our own fault is, in some ways, more believable and more of a reality than the fact that someone could love us despite everything we've done.

The image that paints the best picture for me is the that of adoption (as it is used in its original context). Adoption implies that the child is chosen--for good. Once that child is adopted, he or she cannot be returned (How harsh does that sound?), given over to someone else, or exchanged for someone who is better. He or she is chosen forever--no questions asked. In essence, the parent says, "I choose you--no if's and's or but's."
This choosing is done forever. The parent will always choose the child. It's not a one time thing. If that is true, then not only is it a continual process of being chosen, it's a continual process for the child to to receive that love and to claim his or her identify of being child.

This is what I continue to learn more deeply every day. I am in great need of His grace--the grace that enables me to receive His unmerited love and to claim my true identity in Him. I am a daughter of the King--fully loved, fully received, and given life to be experienced in the fullest.

May His grace abound in us, so that we can really live this out.

Absent. Present.

Maybe he's just late, I thought. Typically punctual, he was nowhere to be found. Confused and curious, I went on with my day and just waited to find out what the explanation could be for his absence. Fast forward to the following day. Out of breath and apologetic, Masato hurriedly came into class explaining why he wasn't there the day before.

Teacher, lost...my wallet...lost. I take bus--first bus...lost wallet. 

"Well, Masato, how did you get to school?"

Call my host family...pick me up. No wallet...no pass for bus...no money. Nothing. 


"Oh no, Masato! I'm so sorry! That's terrible!"

Gathering my thoughts and shuffling papers together to continue on with my lesson for the day, I listened intently to the conversation that was taking place between Masato and another student of mine, Hussein.

Once Hussein had heard what had happened to Masato, he looked Masato square in the eyes and said, "Money. Do you need money?" Shocked and slightly embarrassed, Masato quickly gasped "No! No! So-k!" Hussein--still insistent--replied with this:

"Please. If you need help. Ask. Anytime. We are family--like brothers."

These students have been together in class for about four weeks. Hussein is from Saudi Arabia (where most of my students are from) and Masato is from Japan. Though their English is limited, these two had an incredibly weighty exchange. What lacked in eloquence and impressive vocabulary was made up for in honesty, generosity and loyalty to one's brother. Hussein meant what he said, and I was moved, challenged and inspired.

I realize that this brief anecdote sheds light onto a number of cultural implications, but at the root of it all, I was reminded how we are put on this earth to love God and love others--bringing glory to His name. Do we put each other's needs before our own? Are we being intentional about staying aware of our surroundings so that we can meet the needs of those around us? Are we selfish or selfless in our day-to-day?

That simple yet profound response to a brother's difficult situation has stayed in my head for days: We are family--like brothers. Even if we only understood a morsel of the power behind this statement, our lives would be much richer as we get to experience a bit more of the heart of Christ.

Long Overdue: A Ugandan Thank You [Afoyo]

Friends and Family,

With the semester over and summer here along with time for me to process and pray through my experience in Uganda, I've finally been able to write a letter of thanks: 

It was a six-hour drive from the city of Kampala to the village of Gulu. As we traveled across the unpaved roads of Uganda, I found myself staring out the window of our 16-seater bus for 5 of those hours with my mouth wide open in sheer amazement or with eyes full of tears—overwhelmed by our Creator. The experience of deep worship for those hours returns to me now as I reflect and share about my sweet time there. Looking at the endless skies and vast expanse of land that seemed to go on forever covered in the most stunning splashes of color, I couldn’t help but marvel at the work of God’s hands—thanking Him for filling this earth with His art that we might partake of His beauty. As I thanked Him for all I was seeing, He spoke to me in a most loving voice: Do you see how amazed you are at all that you see—the nature, the clouds, and the trees? All these things I have made are beautiful, but YOU [all of my children] are my favorite. You are the most beautiful and most precious of all of my creation; I’m amazed by you. For the remainder of the trip, He wanted me to see the depth and breadth of those words He had spoken. He also wanted others to experience the power of those words, and for reasons all stemming from His indescribable love, chose me to share them. I’m forever changed.

Though there are countless stories I could share about how God showed His love, grace, mercy and power and how His Spirit moved, I will limit myself (and spare you the novel) by sharing one that will forever be in my heart. Each team member was given the opportunity to give his/her testimony. My day came on the third day of our medical outreaches—in the village of Alero Cuku. The Passion of the Christ was showing when the generator shut down. In the dead stillness of night and by the light of a few flashlights, I was led up in front of 200 something gorgeous faces, staring intently at me. I had asked the Lord to make my story relevant in so many different contexts on this trip because His story is always relevant. As I opened my mouth to speak, He removed all nerves and inundated me with His confidence. It was as though the Lord gave me a script to read. The picture He gave me was of all of the children and young people (those whom I was sharing with) as gifts during Christmas time and how He couldn’t wait to open them because He knew exactly what (who) was inside. Through that, I was just able to share with them how beautiful they are, how much God delights in them and can’t get enough of them, and how they don’t have to do a single thing to earn the love of Christ. Again, the words He spoke to me on the bus became a driving force of His love. His children are His favorite and he chooses us over and over again. That night, God gave my heart the biggest gift: As Pastor Martin finished translating for me, he asked the crowd if anyone wanted to receive Jesus. Knowing that He chooses them, countless hands shot up into the air as they chose Him. The joy of the Lord saturated that village, and witnessing that number of children come to know the Lord was the realization of one of my heart’s songs. Praise the Lord.

I can’t thank you enough for all of your support; words are failing me. They can’t do what the Lord did and is doing in Gulu, in our team or in me justice (shoot—in all of us!). Through this trip, God showed me another layer of the calling He has placed on my life. I’m currently at Biola University getting my MA in TESOL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages). While I was in Gulu, I learned as much Acholi as I could in a short time. In that, God showed me an ease and great joy in acquiring language—a glimpse of His provision for me to learn whatever I need to learn in the future. I ask that you would join me in prayer. I’ll be in school for another year and a half and am open to God calling me to any part of the world. Pray for clarity and discernment. Also, I ask that you would pray that my all of my schooling would be worship unto Him. I’m so thankful for the opportunity of such a rich education with professors who desire both professional and spiritual development for their students. Lastly and most importantly, I ask that you continue to intercede on behalf of the people of Uganda. God is moving mightily as He raises up outstanding men and women over there to be powerful leaders of His kingdom. Pray for continued restoration of the villages, of the people, and for greater vision of what the Lord is doing there. We trust that God has shown favor on Uganda for the purposes of advancing the Gospel to the rest of Africa and unto the world.
Again, thank you for partnering with me in the work of His Kingdom. Uganda holds a special place in my heart and I wanted to be able to give you a glimpse of that. We were there for about two weeks and 8 of those days were spent in Gulu. I’ve prepared a slideshow of some of our trip. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such beauty in my life as I have over there. With that in mind, I know that the Lord is calling that type of vision for all of us—to His beauty—in any and all of our surroundings. I pray that the eyes of our hearts are further opened. Holy Spirit, come; we want more of what You want.

With so much love and gratitude,

Liz

One Face of Heaven Breaking Into Earth

Grandpa. There are a few things you should know about this man.

He's 100 years old (101 this August). I'm not even a quarter of that! Needless to say, he's led a full life.
My grams passed almost 10 years ago, and I never thought gramps would hit the 100-mark. For each day he's given, for every other day he is on this earth, this man is doing some serious damage for the Kingdom. My grandparents were probably the first prayer warriors I've ever been exposed to. I remember there would be times when I'd want to sleep in my grandparents bedroom--I'd grab a sleeping bag, put it between their two twin beds (why do some old people do that?), and just lay there listening to them pray together as they sat facing each other until one fell asleep. To say that they were in the zone would be an understatement. It was their job, their joy, and their honor to come before our God in that way. As I lay zipped up in my sleeping bag, and their prayers literally were spoken over me, I never experienced anything but deep, deep peace.

He's an amazing story teller. I wish that I could have heard more while I was growing up. He's a man of conviction. He's a man who loves deeply. He's a man who sees with his heart. He's gentle. He's strong. He was an anointed speaker, a passionate pastor, and still is and will continue to be a true worshiper well after the day He meets our Jesus face to face. 

He gives the best sniff-kisses and grandpa hugs. Because his eyesight isn't the best, he writes the cutest little notes with his grandpa writing--it's hard to read sometimes, but you know that it's just him telling us he loves us.  He delights in his children and his grandchildren. He is proud of us. He's not afraid to cry in front of us. I'm a firm believer that he's a big fan of the happy tears :). Apparently, I come from a strong line of a lot of those, haha.

As he lay in his hospital bed with my uncle on one side and my mom on the other, he raised his arms toward the heavens, eyes closed, with an ear-to-ear smile on his face. My mom asked him what it was that he was seeing, and he cried out, "Hallelujah!! Hallelujah!! I see the face of my God. I see the angels and his children bowing before him worshiping. Hallelujah!!" Talk about getting one of the best gifts ever: a vision of Heaven, a glimpse of the face of his Maker, a taste of what's to come.

I know that Grandpa is ready to go Home. I know that His appetite for eternity has been whetted, and he remains on this earth knowing that God's timing is sovereign. I honestly believe he's still here for our sake. We're not done with him yet, and he loves us enough to stick around for a little bit longer :). I know that when he does go to hang out with Jesus for forever and ever, that my heart will be in a place of genuine grieving and joyous celebration. Words cannot express how blessed I am to know how rich of a heritage I have. 

My family--the men and women who have come before me have made me think about this verse in a different way:

Before a word is on my tongue
       you know it completely, O LORD.

You hem me in—behind and before;
       you have laid your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
       too lofty for me to attain.

In many ways, I have seem this hemming behind and before through the people God has placed in my life. They started down the narrow road knowing that Eternity awaits--being fully present along the way. 

Jesus, you are far too good to us. Thank you for Grandpa. Thank you for his story of redemption and surrender. Thank you for inclining his heart towards Yours. You already know this, but he can't wait to see You. 

Sometimes the Muse is too Great to Keep Silent.

I've done it for about five years now. But tonight bears a different tone and strikes a different chord. Tonight marks an "end" of five years worth of meeting once a week with a group of people who have become as close to kin as you can get without being related :). A gathering that I thought was going to be sad and heavy was something very other tonight. The conversation flowed (and we even had Soph Skype so we could all be present!). It takes great courage to venture into the unknown and unfamiliar, and i'm proud to say that I know a courageous bunch! The Holy Spirit came, rested upon that room, upon us, and guided the conversation and allowed us to see His grace from beginning to end.

I can count the places the group has been held: at the CSULB dorms, Alex' apartment, the Termino House,  and Em's apartment. What's a bit more difficult to do is to look back and count how many people have actually come through the group. There have been some who have been there for the whole 5-year stint, and others who have just been a part of the group in the last 6 or so months. But regardless of whether one invested months or years, each person has marked a different layer of God's hand of faithfulness, grace, and provision--all illuminating His sovereignty and highlighting His beautiful orchestration of each life in the group (even some lives outside of the group!!).

We left tonight with mixed emotions--some filled with hopeful anticipation of what the future holds, some excited but still actively grieving something that's been very much a part of their lives, and others feeling a bit lost. But my prayer is that as each of us left Em's house, we would present the postures of our hearts as worship to a God who hears, who cares, and will give us clarity and give us more of Himself as we ask. Because our Maker exists in community and relationship, He will continue to provide community for His kids, and I look forward to seeing how that will manifest in each of our lives.

I mean--wow! What stories and testimonies of God's favor we get to share and bring into so many aspects of our lives. It's not just that we get to share, but that we must share. These stories all point to how amazing God is, and i'm floored to think that God would gift me with something so amazing to be a part of for 5 years of my life.

Being given the privilege of being both a member and a leader of this group, I've learned a myriad of things that are irreplaceable, and I praise God for allowing me to learn them in this environment. I've learned the value of being vulnerable, the beauty of being broken before the Body, the power of being honest, the weight of living in community, the humility of leadership, the strength of unity, and the healing power of prayer. Those are only some of the things that come to mind. This group has been and will continue to be family, and it makes me giddy to think that this will always be looked upon as such a sweet time in my life--so so dear to my heart.

For those of you who know what I mean, i'm sure there's an appreciation for this bit of reflection--an homage, if you will. Others might think that this is me being over-dramatic about something that seems to be nothing. Oh, let me tell ya...it isn't nothing. It was more than I could have ever asked for, and it excites me to know that God wants to keep surprising us with how he uses the Body to bless the Body.

I sit here like an overflowing cup--pouring over the brim with joy and love. Thank you (each of you) for how you've invested your lives into this group, how you've shaped it and each brought such a unique flare to its dynamic. The Lord has held this group in His hands for the last 5 years, and will continue to do so with each individual as we move forward. The Lord has been the bookends for this journey, and there's a beautiful story to prove it.

A glimpse of the last few years :)

Aaaa-mazing! My LBLG Fam, you've been a constant source of inspiration in my life. Thank you so much.

"But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body"

A Long Blink.

It felt like I was gone for a long time, but once we hit our last few days, it also felt like it was just the other day that we had landed in Uganda.

My body is back, but the rest of me is still very much processing the whole trip. Our days began with crowing roosters very early in the morning and our nights served as bookends to full days--each marked with their own stories, laughter and fingerprints of God.

Stories to come. I usually journal when I'm away on trips, but I just felt as though the Lord was asking me to be fully present. I have the assurance that He will remind me of what I need to remember to process accordingly.

Until then, here are some pictures from each of our days there. Once the team photos come in, i'll be sure to share those :)

Entebbe Airport

Skirts on and rearin' to go.

A special sight before we headed into Kampala.

Our new friends @ the first Guest House.

On our way to Gulu

Day 1

In Gulu

1st Village Visit [Kbusi]

1st Worship Service

Day 2

Prepping for New Year's

Packing the Meds

 e

Day 3

New Year's

Day 4

Women's Conference

Day 5

The Church Services (English/Luo/Swahili)

Marriage/Couple's Conference

Village 2-Medical Day 1

(A few days without photos)

Molly's Paper Bead Jewelry

Fellowship with Ron and Joy's Family

Pastor Chris @ the Goodbye Dinner

Safari

The Nile

Back to Kampala

Father's Heart Babies Home

Mike's feet and Daniel

Sara and Baby Rachel

ARM (Africa Renewal Ministries) Walk-Around

Maranatha High School where Coryn teaches

In Dubai and heading home

Back in the States

Sweet Welcome

These pictures don't even come close to sharing what I'd love to be able to put into words. Thanks for sharing in this with me. What a journey. Praise God!