It's Been a While: Inspired by Inspiration

The dust is finally settling (quite literally, I swept our hardwood floors for the first time and you should've seen the results of that!) from our move from the 5th St. Apt. to Casita Termino.

After about a week and a half of being surrounded by a maze of boxes and with clutter as forced decor, Amber and I are finally settling in--or at least trying to as we're both busy with work and life. It's the first time that it's just the two of us, and we're really excited that we share the same aesthetic amongst other things. She is a blessing. This new home is a blessing. We both desire that it is a place that brings life to all who come through those doors--a place of community and a place where we witness the many shades of Love.

A friend came over today to just chat (she's a full-time mom with a knack for capturing creative moments with her camera) and was inspired by the set up of our new apartment [Friendly Snapping]. As I watched her snap away, I was reminded what a blessing it is that i'm surrounded by inspiration.

As I took in my surroundings, I was overwhelmed by God's goodness--thankful for the people in my life, the love I experience, the home I have over my head amidst a plethora of other things. As I prayed, I was reminded:

With the eyes of His Spirit, that which is already deep meets new depths, all that is color embraces new vibrancy, that which is mundane transforms into beauty, farfetched dreams become reality, all that is still becomes a dance, that which is broken is restored and all that was dead comes to know Life.

What a gift it is that He gives us eyes to see out of His vision and His reality. May we see beauty in the big things, the little things, and the things we often too quickly deem as normal.  

An ode to our new home:

Tree stumps courtesy neighbors who decided to throw them away

Sweet pot/planter-->  a find at a neighborhood garage sale

Barrel courtesy of someone's alley trash-->Our treasure

Our mustard couch-->$20 dollar find from a slightly clueless neighbor :)

One of these things is not like the other...

Goodwill finds

Courtesy alley sale-->some of them are from the Prohibition

We were delighted by the older details but slightly shocked that there's no

trash disposal in the sink

Some call it old and worn down. We call it character

Our coffee table for the time being-->A trunk given to us for freeninetynine a

few years back

Our $40 couch find with its pillow friends

Our cacti. The little dude on the right is currently going

through a growth spurt 

Well, I suppose on some level I just gave you a small tour of our home :). Thanks for coming along! 

Sometimes the Muse is too Great to Keep Silent.

I've done it for about five years now. But tonight bears a different tone and strikes a different chord. Tonight marks an "end" of five years worth of meeting once a week with a group of people who have become as close to kin as you can get without being related :). A gathering that I thought was going to be sad and heavy was something very other tonight. The conversation flowed (and we even had Soph Skype so we could all be present!). It takes great courage to venture into the unknown and unfamiliar, and i'm proud to say that I know a courageous bunch! The Holy Spirit came, rested upon that room, upon us, and guided the conversation and allowed us to see His grace from beginning to end.

I can count the places the group has been held: at the CSULB dorms, Alex' apartment, the Termino House,  and Em's apartment. What's a bit more difficult to do is to look back and count how many people have actually come through the group. There have been some who have been there for the whole 5-year stint, and others who have just been a part of the group in the last 6 or so months. But regardless of whether one invested months or years, each person has marked a different layer of God's hand of faithfulness, grace, and provision--all illuminating His sovereignty and highlighting His beautiful orchestration of each life in the group (even some lives outside of the group!!).

We left tonight with mixed emotions--some filled with hopeful anticipation of what the future holds, some excited but still actively grieving something that's been very much a part of their lives, and others feeling a bit lost. But my prayer is that as each of us left Em's house, we would present the postures of our hearts as worship to a God who hears, who cares, and will give us clarity and give us more of Himself as we ask. Because our Maker exists in community and relationship, He will continue to provide community for His kids, and I look forward to seeing how that will manifest in each of our lives.

I mean--wow! What stories and testimonies of God's favor we get to share and bring into so many aspects of our lives. It's not just that we get to share, but that we must share. These stories all point to how amazing God is, and i'm floored to think that God would gift me with something so amazing to be a part of for 5 years of my life.

Being given the privilege of being both a member and a leader of this group, I've learned a myriad of things that are irreplaceable, and I praise God for allowing me to learn them in this environment. I've learned the value of being vulnerable, the beauty of being broken before the Body, the power of being honest, the weight of living in community, the humility of leadership, the strength of unity, and the healing power of prayer. Those are only some of the things that come to mind. This group has been and will continue to be family, and it makes me giddy to think that this will always be looked upon as such a sweet time in my life--so so dear to my heart.

For those of you who know what I mean, i'm sure there's an appreciation for this bit of reflection--an homage, if you will. Others might think that this is me being over-dramatic about something that seems to be nothing. Oh, let me tell ya...it isn't nothing. It was more than I could have ever asked for, and it excites me to know that God wants to keep surprising us with how he uses the Body to bless the Body.

I sit here like an overflowing cup--pouring over the brim with joy and love. Thank you (each of you) for how you've invested your lives into this group, how you've shaped it and each brought such a unique flare to its dynamic. The Lord has held this group in His hands for the last 5 years, and will continue to do so with each individual as we move forward. The Lord has been the bookends for this journey, and there's a beautiful story to prove it.

A glimpse of the last few years :)

Aaaa-mazing! My LBLG Fam, you've been a constant source of inspiration in my life. Thank you so much.

"But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body"

Hold up!

" Waiting is essential to the spiritual life. But waiting as a disciple of Jesus is not an empty waiting. It is a waiting with a promise in our hearts that makes already present what we are waiting for. We wait during Advent for the birth of Jesus. We wait after Easter for the coming of the Spirit, and after the ascension of Jesus we wait for his coming again in glory. We are always waiting, but it is a waiting in the conviction that we have already seen God's footsteps. Waiting on God is an active, alert--yes, joyful--waiting. As we wait we remember Him for whom we are waiting, and as we remember Him we create a community ready to welcome him when He comes." H. Nouwen 

** Waiting is active--not passive. It is preparation for His coming but also preparation for us to become more of who we are made to be in Him.

I was reading a passage yesterday that stood out to me differently than it has before:

"Abide in Me as I abide in you." It may be that the translation I read struck a different chord. "AS" I abide in you. It doesn't say abide in me, then I will abide in you. It's a simultaneous abiding; it's mutual. It's a place of constant connection. This is a place of simultaneous abiding in which the fruit of the Spirit is manifested in our lives. Actively waiting gives us greater vision of what it means to be constantly abiding.

As we wait, the Vinedresser is pruning us. All the while as parts of us are cut away because they don't bear fruit, we are still very much a part of the vine. Pruning doesn't cause there to be a separation between us and the Vine; rather, it's the Vinedresser removing lifeless limbs. Those fall away, and there the branches are given room and freedom to bear the intended Fruit.

**An active waiting also allows us to be interruptible.

This is something I've been praying for more of--room in my life to be interruptible. All time is His time, but I treat it as my own, precious commodity. I've seen much grace here as I trust Him to provide time to do what He knows I need to do (also for things I get to do :)). This idea of being interruptible has been very closely tied to the idea of worship for me. Being interruptible implies that there is a constant awareness of the Spirit of God actively moving in and through all seconds, minutes and hours of our lives. I want to be present for that. I don't want schedules, for busyness, and for routine to squelch the possibility for being really alive in moments when He is clearly wanting to move and make Himself known. If we're aware of His movements and what He's up to,  we can (we get to) respond appropriately, even immediately, in worship. In other words, if we are constantly waiting on Him, we can constantly be worshipping Him.

I love God's creativity--being open to God's time instead of mine can take shape through unexpected conversations, through stopping long enough to be amazed by a delicate flower, to pray, to sing, to play, to be still, to do someone's dishes, to ask someone how they're doing, etc...

Though the idea of being interruptible might drive us to think in terms of sacrifice (which may very well be true at times--dying to self, placing others before ourselves, etc...), it is freeing; it breaks off the chains that have been a part of lives--those places which have been deeply enslaved to our own desires. Asking God to move in our lives this way removes the shackles of selfishness. To be interruptible means to be free to worship.

This semester, I was able to meet someone quite special-- a classmate of mine. She is of quiet and gentle spirit, full of joy and worship. The words I choose here won't do justice the work that God has done in this woman's life, but she is constantly worshipping God--in word and in deed. At any given moment regardless of what's going on, if she senses the Spirit at work, she will stop to thank God for His provision, for His goodness, and for His ability to blow her mind time after time. Never is it done in the look-at-me sense. Anyone around her can simply tell that it's a natural response; she knows nothing other than to thank God. It's almost as though she knows she'd explode if she kept it in. Often times her genuine responses to God move me a great deal--this morning I was moved to tears as I thought about the way she worships. I'm humbled, and I desire more of that kind of life. I'm blessed by her faithful heart of worship; it is contagious! Hiromi, you live a life that is interruptible, and I praise God for your lovely heart.

***

Father, give us Your strength as you incline our hearts to wait on You. Free us up to see you, to serve you, and to respond appropriately to you. As we still ourselves before you, May we see the weight of your glory. 

A Touchy Feely Matter.

Some of us are naturally inclined to being rather in tune with our emotions, while others of us are not. On occasion it seems like we feel everything with the sensitivity of that of a flower petal--completely exposed and aware. Other times, we are numb to everything: nothing feels like anything, and it almost appears as though we fear feeling. Too many of us make all of our decisions on the basis of our feelings, and others of us don't take them into consideration when making decisions.

We dance on extreme ends of the reality of emotions and feelings. Neither end of the continuum is healthy, and we really are challenged constantly to find the balance. Neither end is safe or sound. A number of us feel ashamed for feeling too much, and others of us think we're weird for not feeling enough.

Feelings and emotions help us find commonality, but they also have the capacity to be a mechanism that brings about ostracism. These feeilngs can be rooted in believing lies that we've been told or that we have believed about those around us, but they also have the immense power of affirming what is true!

In the midst of experiencing what we feel when we hear the lies, it is imperative that we ask ourselves what is true. Emotions in light of these moments too often lead us into a posture of wallowing and thinking that is very narrow-minded, self-centered, self-degrading, and self-destructive. Those emotions completely undermine the freedom and truth found in the powerful work of  Jesus that has already taken place in our lives. Lies and defeat have no room in our lives--and absolutely no power in our lives.

The beauty in emotions is found in the very moments when they affirm what is true.  This is not to say that all that is true is joyous and a cause for celebration. Tears from one who grieves, laughter from one who rejoices, sorrow from one who experiences death of a loved one, joy and relief from one who has experiences freedom, righteous anger towards injustice, etc.. These are all very real processes. We aren't meant to ignore what we feel but rather ask the Lord what it is that He wants to show us through them. What is He trying to teach us? What is He trying to show us of Himself?

We are not to live without emotions, but our emotions should not drive how we live. Emotions are a gift--that which allows us to experience and feel and be very much alive. They weren't meant to reap and sow destruction. The combination of emotions and sound mind produces a lovely depiction of a healthy and thriving soul whereas the combination of emotions and confusion produces a portrait of chaos and angst.

Father, show us Your heart. Give us the strength to sit in what we feel as you teach us to surrender what we feel to You. Give us your strength so that we don't run from what we need to face. Teach us to walk in the freedom of knowing You--that we would see ourselves as You see us. Refine what we feel and the ways in which we feel, so that our actions and our responses reflect your Spirit in us. We pray for clarity and sound mind, and we ask for hearts that are sensitive to You. 

Lovely webs.

I got up this morning--cheery and bright. The airy, somewhat fog-infused light of morning was dancing through the blinds, and I found myself ready for today. 6:30 AM. A little unheard of for me? A bit. I don't mind being up that early, but I don't know if i'd use the word cheery to describe my innermost feelings.

Whatever the case may be, the cheer and delight continued throughout my day: there was a consistent feeling of peace, of steady-pacedness (yes, it's made up), and the sense of being in a relaxed but intentional dance. It felt very natural to rest, to breathe, and to enjoy being present. A very common thread for all of the days activities and encounters could be summed up in one word: connectedness.

This word is loaded, and I experienced multiple of its facets today. Where I found it most was in the lovely webs that I have found and continue to find myself in--the web of individuals and community. The webs that He's so carefully weaves as He continues to leave me dumbfounded.

I visited my old occupational stomping grounds today at the Learning Assistance Center at CSULB. It feels like home there; I loved/love the people I worked with, and the environment is one of encouragement and warmth. There's a project I have coming up for one of my classes and it required some information from second language learners. What better place to go, right?

Even before I got inside, I caught the eye of one of my old bosses and flashed the biggest smile ever. Immediately, I was flooded with hugs and "How are you's" and was incredibly blessed by the love. My former boss, Erik, then proceeded to clear his desk as he offered it to me while I worked on some of my research. Every five minutes or so, an old co-worker would come by and say hi. In some special instances, we'd catch up on life. Each story was like a hug to my heart, and each interaction reminded me of what amazing relationships i've been given in the last few years of my life. I hadn't seen any of these friends since graduating in June, but the joy in reuniting was incredibly sweet.

Opportunities came up for me to share of God's faithfulness in how he trained me at the LAC, through very specific people and situations for what I was going to experience in grad school/life.  I realized that He has shown me great favor in my relationships with others--bosses, co-workers, friends, those I tutored, etc... This is completely His doing, and it is altogether humbling. It's  undeserved, and I know that it is out of His love and mercy that He's allowing me to go through life seeing this gift from Him so clearly. I left the LAC with more research than I came with, a heart full of love and with a refreshed spirit.

(Sidenote: As I'm writing this, my Melatonin is kicking in big time; what you read in this post may be interesting =p)

Becks picked me up, and we closed the night with some more connectedness: to each other, to our home, to my schooling, to God, etc...

This post doesn't do what I experienced of connectedness justice; it's but a mere glimpse of His always masterful orchestration of our lives.

I'll leave you with these (pictures from 1st dinner w/ Becks back as a roomie!):

Goodnight!

Where All the Good Happens.

This past weekend was an obvious reminder of where most good things happen :)

In Community!

Friends gathered to worship and pray on Friday night, and there God met with us and we saw various expressions of freedom, love and healing.

On Saturday, a group of ten friends came along with me to visit my parents in Santa Clarita. There, we enjoyed food, conversations, and the highlight for me was probably all of us around the piano--singing Blessed Assurance in 3 or 4 different languages. There must have been at least 7-8 countries represented!

Finally, Sunday came around--and again, I was reminded of the beauty found in Community. I shared my testimony at my Uganda trip meeting and it was received with nothing but love. I could say so many things, but ultimately, there is just great freedom in Love. There was no judgment--rather, only an environment where there was a deep understanding that we are all His children made right through His death and resurrection.

There is a constant theme that God's been trying to teach me more about-the unity of the Body. It's simple in many ways, yet the implications of being in intentional community run so deep. What a gift it is! We need each other.

I wish I had pictures from all of these community experiences, but I only have some from Saturday:

If you'd like to see more, you can go here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/alittlebet/sets/72157622532307031/

Day 2. When the city wakes up.

Coffee shops in California. Opening time is probably around 5AM. We're used to having that luxury. Here, in Vancouver, the city mostly wakes up around 10AM. In search for coffee, Deb and I walked around and finally found a place that was open. Sitting here, we did our quiet time for that day and people watched. A few people in the homeless community began to emerge. And in their exchange of dialogue, transactions were made. Phone call-drug deal. I sat there wondering, where is God in all this? And I was led to reading John 5. This came alive as i compared the story of the crippled man at the pool of Bethseda to the city of Vancouver and its broken, homeless and drug addicted. As we, in our brokeness as well, consider the others, we realize that we are all "waiting for the moving of the waters." The man at the pool of Bethseda had been there for years, and his response to the healing that was being offered was a simple, yet incredibly somber truth that there had been no one to lead him to the place of healing. This just screams out the need for community and for the need to come alongside and know someone well enough to know where the Lord is leading us to serve in whatever capacity we're called to. As I sat there, my heart broke and just had this heavy sense of whether or not this man had ever seen love-if he had ever seen the Lord. I looked up in my frustration and saw a sign across the street-a restaurant sign. It was called "arriva!" And in that, the still small voice reminded me that He has already arrived-His kingdom has come...already. It is at hand. Lord, break the destructive patterns in our lives. May we find freedom in Your name.



In our team's discussion time, we just went over the 5 points that exemplify mission being lived out (Example used: Peter and the disciples seeing Jesus walk on water): 1) the Call from God. God calls us to something. We don't make it up 2)The call is risky; there is fear involved. It the call is big enough where it requires God. When Peter saw the Lord walking on the water, he asked for an opportunity, not a guarantee. 3)There is always reassurance: He is present, and he is I AM. We're not doing things for God, but we're doing things with God. 4) There is a decision to be made. (Do you stay on the boat or do you get in the water?) 5) There is always a changed life.

In communion, we reflected: "May you hear God's voice and feel his presence."

The day's main focus was to help out at the community garden down the street from Grandview (one of the local churches). A huge emphasis with NieuCommunities is Creation Care-to be stewards ofthe land the Lord has given us. A while back, the church bought this lot of land where a house used to stand. They've cleaned and cleaned and begun a community garden there. Often times, those that walk by will stop to see what's going on. Others will see the progress being made, and many conversations are sparked this way. Some families bring their little kids and let them play at the garden. Our job for that day was to take up rocks, pieces of foundation, and laid in soil from which new life will emerge.









Then, to close off the night, we went 5-pin bowling. The balls were the size of...shotput balls... Good talk with Becks and Carl.







Community. Responsibility. Life. Love.
On our walk home, it rained. =)

"He will also send you rain for the seed you sow in the ground, and the food that comes from the land will be rich and plentiful." Isaiah 30:22a