Consumer vs. Being Consumed

To know who I am, I need to know who He is. 
To know what I've been given, I need to know who He is.
To know what promises have been made to me, I need to know who He is.
To know how to worship Him, I need to know who He is.
To know how to love, I need to know who He is.


You get the point.


In this season (or whatever you want to call it), I've been really praying for a renewed sense of discipline in place of the "me-me" mentality I take on when life gets too busy. A friend reminded me the other day that discipline is a form of submission, and that cut me to the core. I've said "yes" to myself so much that in parts of my life, i've forgotten my First Love. I've sacrificed deeper intimacy for temporal satisfaction in things that are fleeting.


"Luckily" for me, my First Love never goes farther than I how far I go away because He's always here, always with me, always loving me. My Dave wrote something the other day that went hand in hand with this: "You always have access to God's heart, but does He have access to yours?" Being in the presence of God requires me giving Him access to my heart, and i'm praying for an increase of that for this season (and for the rest of them to come). 


I'm going through the Psalms right now, and time and time again, I'm blown away by how His character is revealed through the Word. It's thick with who He is, and I love being reminded of how exciting it is to fall in love with Him. This is what I was reminded of again about who He is just in the first 8 chapters:

He is:

*the Giver of Life

*the Sustainer

* the only Peace

*the only Safety

*the Director

*the Guide

*the Giver of Joy

*the Protector

*the Merciful One

*the Healer

*the Deliverer

*the Trustworthy One

*the Defender

*the Just Judge

*the Lord Most High

*the Excellent One 

My prayer is that we would long to know Him more and pursue Him as He delights in pursuing us. I pray that we would know the difference between being consumers of His love and being consumed by His love. 

Ain't no Easy Bake.

In a culture of microwaves, drives thru's and achieve-thus-and-such in x number of days, we've lost sight of a great necessity. We've loosened our grip on the process of being restored because it apparently doesn't happen quickly enough. It's too hard. It's too painful. We don't see results quickly enough. We want to be free, but we don't want to be freed from the very things that get in our way of attaining it. Habit, comfort, you name it.

Restoration is, in fact, a meticulous process. If it weren't, how would we explain the beautiful tapestries that He so carefully weaves (our lives). Again, I go back to the fact that our God desires wholeness--all of who we are to be restored and made well. We may disregard the teeny tiny little snags in the tapestry, but He desires the restoration of all parts. The process requires discipline and endurance. Though we may feel frail at times, it's imperative that we see how tightly woven the threads are. I hope we are astonished as to how the Weaver's hand has made us strong and sturdy.

In the middle conversation I had recently, I briefly but openly admitted that i'm in the midst of this process. You know when you want more than what you've typically had--or to experience more than you have before? Well, I know that deeper, fuller restoration has to happen in order for me to fully receive all that He has for me and for me to be freed up fully for His work. Sure it's easier to bolt, but I didn't ask for easy. I'm asking for life, for vibrancy, and for freedom. Does my flesh get in the way and tell me that it's too hard or too scary? Yeah, but my flesh is flawed and thankfully His Spirit in me is not:

"Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely, and may your spirit and soul and body be made complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass." 


We have great hope that what we are going through puts us in a posture of looking forward to something amazing. And even better? It readies us to behold the amazing: Him.  Exciting :D.

May we allow Him to do this work in us--more deeply, more fully, from the tops of our heads to the bottom of our feet.

So this time around I pray for increased discipline, joy in the process, and that we would see with His eyes.

Finally found chords to a song that really strikes me, so I'm sharing the song and the learning it process with anyone who's reading: 

40 Days.

So I was praying about what I could intentionally take part in for lent--and by take part in, I mean give up for. My answer came unexpectedly as I got into my car to drive home from school. My hand went to put on music when it dawned on me that silence was necessary. So no music in the car: Regardless of the type, genre, or tempo of music I could potentially listen to as a means of relaxing or even of worship--I am being called to silence as a discipline. This is the kind of silence where I hope and expect to hear from the Lord, where I hope to see things in me come to light, and for me to be OK in the stillness and to know that i'm fully OK in the silence (not desiring to drown out anything that would otherwise get too much of my attention.

I was reminded of this song halfway home and was so thankful that the words struck me so differently this time around:

In the secret, in the quiet place

In the stillness You are there.

In the secret, in the quiet hour I wait, 

Only for You,'cause I want to know You more;

I want to know You,

I want to hear Your voice

I want to know You more.

I want to touch You,

I want to see Your face

I want to know You more.

I am reaching for the highest goal,

then I might receive the prize.

Pressing onward, pushing every hindrance aside,

Out of my way, 'cause I want to know you more

I want to know You,

I want to hear Your voice

I want to know You more.

I want to touch You,

I want to see Your face

I want to know You more.

I want to know You,

I want to hear Your voice

I want to know You more.

I want to touch You,

I want to see Your face

I want to know You more.

In the secret, in the quiet place

In the stillness You are there

I'm excited to see, to hear from, and to know my Jesus better. I also look forward to breaking from what my flesh is so used to--habit and routine--in order to expose new layers of my heart as well as His. I go into this humbly knowing that it will be a time of preparing and reorienting my life as Easter approaches.

This'll be interesting :).